An Englishwoman in Pompano Beach, FL
Pelicans, palm trees and getting caught in a thought storm
Dear Reader
Sometimes I like to arrive in a new place having done no research. So it was, arriving here in Florida at Fort Lauderdale airport on our way to stay at Pompano Beach. My picture of Florida came from a random selection of facts and film references. Disney World in Orlando - a place I’ve never been: heaven on earth according to Elder Price in the Book of Mormon, we saw last week on Broadway.
Hugh Grant as Alex Fletcher, a washed up 80s pop star in Music & Lyrics responding to Drew Barrymore’s character Sophie, when she says she’s moving to Florida, to grow up. ‘Nobody grows up in Florida … unless you’re an orange.’ Everglades National Park is the largest tropical wilderness in the US. In another Hugh Grant film based on a true story of a British MP an unsuccessful murder plot of a young English man included the idea of dumping the body in the Everglades. Alligators and crocodiles would soon dispose of the evidence!
Today I’ve been reading about the state of Florida and it has had my imagination stretch and turn and tumble through a whole cascade of stories of people and places. The most intriguing and mysterious fact is: various tribes of indigenous people have lived in this area for at least 14,000 years. 14,000 years! At least! If you went back 14,000 years from this year you’d get to 12,024 BC when the world was emerging from the Last Glacial Maximum! Because for the first many thousand years of their existence, indigenous people left little trace of their existence, we forget that there are indigenous people all around the US today whose ancestors lived in one place for thousands of years. How many generations would that be? When we come across a family who’ve lived in one place for 4 or 5 generations we get a feeling of stability and awe.
This long history of people and place may not be something most people associate with Florida. Today it is the third most populous state in the US with over 23 million people at the last census. This area is full of sunshine, palm trees and apartment blocks.
So called Snow Birds are the term for the thousands of people from the Northern US states, Canada and Europe who flock here in the winter for the warm weather and tropical vibe. But it is only in the twentieth century that Florida’s population has boomed and it continues to attract migrants and visitors from all over the US and the world.
It may be better known in the UK not just for Disney World but for the devastating hurricanes that pass this way each year.
I can get caught in thought storms. Like hurricanes they can wreak havoc. When we grip onto thoughts of fear, judgement and insecurity, the gripping can really hurt us physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually. The body mind system is designed to accommodate feeling states from all ends of the spectrum from elation to despair. But, and this is the big BUT, they are meant to flow through us, freely without obstruction. Thoughts and feelings are transitory, ever changing, flowing like a river. They’re not meant to get stuck.
How do they get stuck?
Whenever we take a thought or emotion too seriously, it gets amplified. Then we might start thinking about and judging our feeling state, ‘wow, why am I so frustrated? I shouldn’t be so frustrated.’
This sets up internal conflict. If we keep resisting how we feel and judging, arguing, defending or digging deeper into our upset, our body will soon manifest signs of stress: headaches, back aches, stomach upsets, skin outbreaks. Exhaustion follows quickly.
As we cotton on to this more and more, when we get caught in a thought storm and get out of alignment, by holding on to thoughts and feelings (energy in motion) it begins to hurt our hearts, ‘hurt our soul’ (thank you to
for that phrase. Our tolerance for being out of alignment diminishes.How do we see through the illusion of thought?
Sometimes we see it quickly. A driver cuts us up and though we mutter a curse under our breath and our heart rate rises, we return to equilibrium soon enough. Other times we get really stuck in, hurting ourselves by gripping onto thoughts that are not true even though they look true in the moment.
Seeing deeper into the illusion of our stories about ourselves and the world comes via insight. We’ve been having them all our lives. Look at your own ideas. Have they changed over time? Think of times you have been guided by some quiet knowing, gut instinct or other flash of insight. Often it takes us forward in uncertainty.
And still we get caught in thought storms that bring to life painful feelings which we want to push away.
How do we know they’re not true?
Because of the feeling. When we feel constricted, off, tense that is the signal that we are believing something that is not true. Usually the thoughts are connected to the past (painful memories) or the future (fearful imaginings). The power of the mind is such that those thoughts come to life as if they are happening now and our body obediently brings all the biochemical reactions to match the feeling whether that is fear, anger or grief.
Another litmus test I like is: would you like this thought to be on the front page of your local newspaper, attributed to you? If that has you squirming with embarrassment it’s likely you know the thought is not worthy of your attention because it’s not really you, not the you that trusts life. So take your attention away as best you can. No need to be embarrassed: everyone has embarrassing thoughts. Without the oxygen of attention, thoughts just move on through. Don’t waste time wondering why you are having the thought you are having.
I get cranky, judgmental, controlling and anxious thoughts all the time and I’d guess I always will. Usually they don’t hang around, but every now and then, they get a grip. Then I go to war with them and exhaust myself. Eventually they still pass. It’d be nice to cut out the unnecessary conflict.
When we’re caught in thought storms we tend to do the opposite of what helps. Instead of going easy on ourselves which then allows us to hear our common sense, we dig in deeper and think harder.
Maybe all we need is a break, a nap, a snack, a chat with a friend, a fresh perspective. These things are obvious when we don’t grip on. But once we’ve engaged fully in our fearful/angry/anxious thinking we often do the opposite of what helps: keep ourselves awake ruminating, take in more stimulants, pick fights, agonise over work or relationships.
Does it mean we feel happy all the time when we understand this?
No. The idea is not to banish these feelings. That just makes them more powerful.
As our understanding deepens of the transitory nature of thought and how we live in a thought created reality, we get less captivated by our thoughts: the painful ones and the dopamine seeking ones.
It means our capacity to feel anything and everything without self judgement increases. To be more fully alive, more fully participating with life.
We can expand when we feel grief, anger, sadness, confusion, frustration, loneliness rather than constrict into self recrimination. Maybe even laugh when critical, anxious or judgemental thoughts arise. Give them a warm hug and let them go on their way.
How I know ‘we’re not in Kansas anymore Toto’
A regular slot for things that catch my eye that tell me I’m no longer in Ferryside, West Wales, UK.
Small Joys
A good night’s sleep. Nothing like a run of disturbed nights to help me appreciate the joy of being well rested.
Reading Substack articles. So much richness and generosity every time I open the app.
Love - to feel it, enjoy it, be grateful for it, to extend it to others and especially to ourselves. Is there anything better?
Threads that pull me
Book: No Two Persons by Erica Bauermeister. I saw the author talk at an event in Bellingham a few weeks ago when a friend invited me. Thank you Coizie. I’ve had the paperback a while, waiting. I began it on this trip. This novel is extraordinary, stopping me in my tracks again and again. I don’t want to finish it. Highly recommend.
Audio: Adyashanti The Most Important Thing, Volume 1. Adyashanti is an American spiritual teacher I first came across 6 or 7 years ago. This audio has been sitting in my library a while. In that beautiful way threads connect, both he and Erica Bauermeister talk of powerful questions being far more illuminating than answers. A rich, alive book, and a deeply lived life come from the questions we ask rather than the answers we think we have. When we cease asking questions we have beached ourselves turning away from the flow of life.
Questions
What is the most important thing in your life?
Just one thing, one single thing? The thing that orients your life. The thing that energises you, motivates you, guides all your actions?
Give it a sphere if you like …
What is the most important thing in your spiritual life?
What is the most important thing in your creative life?
What is the most important thing in your intimate relationships (with self or others)?
What is the most important thing in your family relationships?
What is the most important thing in your friendships?
What is the most important thing in your work?
What is the most important thing in your finances?
What is the most important thing in your home?
What is the most important thing in in this moment?
Take your time, sit with the questions, see which one draws you, let it expand. The first answer may not be your soul’s deep answer. The first answer might be the thing you think should be the most important in your life. Get quiet, let the answer arise from a deeper place. It may take a few minutes, a few days or a few months. Stay with the question. Live the question.
That’s all folks, thank you for reading, until next time. Spread the love by liking, sharing or commenting and I always love to hear from you. If you’ve emailed me and not heard anything back try direct messaging through the Substack app. Some emails from Substack go astray.
Juliet Fay
Thank you for the inspiration of your thoughts - all of them. A friend once shared a little prayer to help shift a discomfitting thoughts. Simply ask for a better thought. This works for me when I start tumbling down the rabbit hole.
Also thank you for sharing your photographs, they to inspire and evoke awe. 🩵