#39 Attention, the secret ingredient that determines our experience
Acrobat in the trees, Anacortes Forest Lands and my new virtual bookstore
This week, to my surprise and delight, the first founding member signed up. My husband, my number one fan 🧡. To have those you love and who love you, recognise and support what matters to you is a very special kind of encouragement. It doesn’t have to be financial but it is very sweet when it is.
As the one year anniversary of my arrival here in the US approaches, I am reflecting on all I’ve experienced and discovered. Being here during this tumultuous time in human affairs, the invitation to go deeper is ever present. Driving past a protest lining the streets in Anacortes yesterday, I burst into tears. I was moved by how many had turned out on behalf of others. There are so many ways we can look and point towards beauty, joy and compassion. This Substack is my way of doing that.
An acrobat in the trees
As I was practising ukulele the other day I watched a tree surgeon in the neighbour’s yard. He climbed the tree using the power of his legs and spikes on his boots, a strong strap around his waist. With the chainsaw in one hand, he held the branch and deftly cut first one then another, swapping the chainsaw effortlessly from left hand to right. When he climbed he dropped the chainsaw. Surely he’ll tear his calf open? But no, each time it cleared his body and and it plunged dangling below him on a rope still singing its fiery song. He wore his skill lightly. Some protective gear on his body but his most valuable protection was his attention. You’d want to be super present and super specific about where your attention was in a job like that.
I learnt last week from someone on Substack that summer begins on 4th July in the Pacific Northwest. Here we are, a third of the way into June and balmy days continue. I am out on the deck writing this and as I pause I take in the sounds all around. In the distance I can hear the whoops of children enjoying an outdoor community pool, birds call with more or less urgency. Heavy machinery drones nearby and the sound of a jet rumbles overhead. Funny, when I’m absorbed in reviewing my writers’ circle submissions, I am unaware of all the noises, lost in the stories on the page. Attention can be hyper focused or diffuse.
Attention: make a heaven or a hell of your day
Attention is on my mind. It is the one thing in life we have agency over. To what or to whom we give our attention. Where we place it and how gently. We can pay attention in so many ways: resentfully, lovingly, languidly, lazily, critically, idly, half heartedly, distractedly, with laser focus, intently, patiently, persistently, mindlessly. Did activities and circumstances jump into your mind as you read that list?
How my day goes is directly related to what I am paying attention to. Broadly if I am giving attention to what is wrong or lacking - with me, others or the world then I feel dissatisfied and fed up. The more I look for what’s wrong, the more I’ll discover. Funny eh? A wise woman called Elsie Spittle called it ‘the ain’t it awful club'.’
In contrast if I pay attention to what is ‘right’, by that I mean looking for where there is beauty, kindness, compassion, love, sharing, humour, joy, gratitude, then the very same day goes in a totally different direction, leading to a totally different experience. The more I look for what’s ‘right’, the more I see it all around me.
It’s kind of cool!
Does it sound like a Pollyanna game? What about real world problems? I hear you ask. Well here’s the interesting thing.
It was Einstein who said,
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”
Turning your attention to what is going right addresses what Einstein is talking about. Not only does it give you something else to focus on in the short term, it frees the mind to relax its grip on problems and difficulties and in doing that, the mind expands and fresh thinking or wisdom emerges sooner or later.
The power of a settled mind
Have you ever noticed when you lay a problem aside, you often come up with a solution when you’re no longer thinking about it? Perhaps out for a walk or in the shower or driving somewhere, boom, an answer pops into your head.
Another way of talking about this is your raise your level of consciousness when you look towards unity rather than separation. Sydney Banks, a welder from Scotland who lived on Salt Spring Island, British Columbia, Canada who had an enlightenment experience in the late 1970s, had a very simple way of talking about this,
“look for the beautiful feeling”
It sounds too simple and yet, don’t we all know the feeling of being bogged down in low grade thinking where you just go round and round without finding any solutions? And the discomfort can be intolerable. Hello, eating a tub of ice cream, binge watching TV, buying things online we don’t need, doom scrolling, picking a fight, downing several large glasses of wine. Anything to get away from the discomfort of uncertainty and lack of control.
Or if we’re really in the weeds we may lunge for the first taking action idea that occurs to us in our negative state. Even if that action is something we wouldn’t consider in a more balanced state of mind. We might give our neighbour a piece of our mind, hand in our notice, break up with someone, move in with someone. You get the idea.
As soon as we realise what we’re up to, we can be grateful for the awareness and loosen our grip on the thinking. It may take minutes, hours, days, weeks or months, but sooner or later, our thinking changes. Many people instinctively know this but it’s easy to lose track of it.
Let the beautiful feeling arise
Sometimes all we need to do is give ourselves permission to let the beautiful feeling arise. It’s always there. We just take ourselves away from it with thinking about the past or dark imaginings about the future. All the wisdom you need is found in that beautiful feeling - a mind free of contaminated thought. That wisdom may have you act or rest, move or be still, change something big or small or nothing at all. The great news is we can rely on it to guide us moment to moment. Your wisdom is your unique GPS. Now isn’t that a relief!
Watching the tree surgeon working on these giant trees was mesmerising. What if living life is like being a tree surgeon? As long as you stay present and pay attention to what matters, you can trust you will find what you need in the moment and the view just gets insanely good!
Questions
What do you notice about where you put your attention? Do you tend to look for what’s right or what’s wrong? Or does it vary (it does for me)?
Where or when do you experience that beautiful feeling when all is well?
What would happen if you paid less attention to thinking that doesn’t serve you?
❦
Threads that pull me
Book: Life between the Tides - In Search of Rockpool’s and Other Adventures Along the Shore (affiliate link) by Adam Nicholson. Recommended by my elder daughter, I have just started this magical book. The writing has influenced my own as I noticed the strong adjectival verbs he uses. The introduction opens with the beguiling line, ‘The sea is not made of water. Creatures are its genes.’ My love of the sea began with childhood summers in Cornwall and has continued through 23 years living in West Wales and now here in the Pacific Northwest San Juan Island of Fidalgo in Skagit County.
Juliet Fay’s Book Store
I’ve always had an idle dream to open a bookshop and I’m excited to announce I have taken a small step in that direction. Bookshop.org is an online platform which allows indie bookshops to set up a virtual storefront and gain commission from their book selections. I have set up Juliet Fay’s bookshop to showcase all the books I read and recommend as well as books featuring my writing.
If you love to buy books, are based in the US and buy from my online store, you get to do business with a company that supports indie bookshops and I get a small commission at no extra cost to you. Go browse.
How I know ‘we’re not in Kansas anymore Toto’
A regular slot for things that catch my eye and tell me I’m no longer in Ferryside, West Wales, UK.
There are parks galore in the US: city parks, state parks and national parks, each with different governance. Here in Skagit County we are spoilt for choice. While there are many footpaths and parks in West Wales, none have the towering trees that dominate the landscape here in the Pacific North West
That’s all folks. Thanks for checking in. Press the little ♥️ if this post lights you up. Share or restack the post if you want to help me build my readership.
‘Til next time.
Juliet Fay
Find more of my writing elsewhere
Book: A Life Less Serious: Real life stories from women to inspire, uplift and encourage new perspectives on living by George Halfin. My essay, The Gift of Travel closes the book. (affiliate link*)
Digital publication: Hope - A Scrapbook by Catriona Knapman, author of Notes from Saving the World. My poem, Hope for the Family is included.
*This post contains affiliate links to bookshop.org. If you purchase using the link, I gain a small commission at no extra cost to you.
Yes, attention is everything. It shapes our world. <3
the tree surgeon is the best kind of meditator. 🙂
I thought that walking in stillness in the midst of the hustle & bustle of the city with eyes wide open was the best kind of meditation until I started carving wooden Christmas ornamentals with a bandsaw. Unbelievable what you get to find out when working with a saw. 😅
What a cool idea to curate your favorite books and your writings as well? in your bookshop!